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what are people born artists for?
what was the great cynical power above thinking when it made people like me, and then inserted us in a totally worthless world?
someone, someone laughs every morning at my expense, I swear :/
December
I need a journal entry tonight, but I need it in a place where I can write things that are for my eyes alone, things that only I can read because I have so many confessions and so little inclination to share them with prying eyes.
I need the tideline.
I need the endless scroll of sand between ebb and flow, where I can write and write and write and then have every word and thought erased and preserved forever by the gods undersea.
I think my split finger is broken, but not like broken, broken. Broken like un-dammed, like something happened to it that cannot be undone, like it somehow empowered me.
Winning through losing. Delicious, yes.
I
excerpt from 'Journey'
‘Is that why you’re travelling?’
Thomas sighed, and looked up, as if searching for an answer. He’d known that, sooner or later, someone would ask him that question. He was thankful that it had been Henry, because he supposed that no one in the world could empathize with him, and, thus, read him, better.
‘I don’t know,’ he said, closing his eyes. ‘It may be is. I told myself I would stop running away, though this is hardly consistent with that.’
Henry looked at him. He looked at him for a long while, as though, by looking at Thomas, he were looking at himself.
'We each have a personal w
Nightmare
I had a very vivid dream about you, of which I've just woken up.
even though that email you sent me a while back really hurt me, I think maybe you could write to me in a dire situation, if everything else is lost.
Ever since we parted I've been a different, better person, a more accurate version of me. I've met someone else, shrouded in mystery. even though I don't know him, and I may or may not see him ever again, I can picture with him a life together, a family. a future. no one knows. Time will tell.
in my dream just now I saw you just as you were when we parted. Childlike. Broken. hopeful that you could maybe somehow piece yourself toget
Fire
Goddamn I'm totally in love
With the idea of him
Fuck that it takes wine to admit it but hey
At least I'm only confessing to the idea
Cause I don't know the dude fuck destiny hmmmm
Just the idea of him. Yeah. Love it. 200%
I hope I see him again
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To make the world have worth. We artists add something good. 
